Saturday, December 24, 2016


Hi, I'm Donald. You probably know this. I'm everywhere, even here now. Yes, I'm Donald. You've heard all the jokes and theories about me. About why I am where I am. The cultural and socio-economic reasons and, you know, that stuff. Blame it on neoliberalism or racism or reality TV or, well, whatever, whatever.

I'll tell you something though. Something people don't talk about so much. Something I know very well. Something even I don't talk about. Let me tell you this. My father gave me everything, or at least an awful lot, and that left me feeling bad. Really, believe me. I felt really bad. I felt like I never made anything for myself, you know, so I needed to do that, right. You understand me. OK. So, I needed people to take me for me, but I didn't know who 'me' was right, so I gradually became this kind of a thing and I put this thing that I became out there and here I am and, you know, I'm very successful. I mean, I say that I'm successful all the time and people say that I'm not. They say I lost a lot of money and all of this, but I'm not talking about money. I'm talking about real estate, mental real estate. I own property and that property is in your head. It's mental space and it gives me value. It makes me feel great too. I feel very valued. I like feeling valued, right. Don't we all like to feel valued? You know it. You know we do. Valued is something that my father never made me feel. I had to do that for myself and I was very successful at it. I built a home in everyone's mind and that gives me value and now I'm trading in that value and do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to buy the world. The whole world. I'm going to take the world, another thing my father couldn't give me by the way, and I'm going to destroy it and then I'm going to see what happens. Maybe I'll find out who I am because, you know, that's the one thing I really don't know. That's the one thing I never figured out and I guess by destroying everything I'm going to discover it, right? Sure. I'll destroy everything and by that I mean absolutely everything, believe me, I'll destroy it while you guys cheer or boo or whatever, like I could care less how you feel about it by the way, as long as you feel strongly about it, and then, when everything is destroyed, you'll look at me, Donald, and I will look back at you. I'll look straight into your eyes, straight in there, and I'll say 'Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.'

That's what's going to happen folks, believe me, and I know that my father may not have been proud of what I'm destined to become, but boy would he ever have been impressed.

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